Sunday, January 6, 2013

The Coach With The Sanchez Tattoo

Recently it was discovered that New York Jets Coach Rex Ryan has what appears to be a tattoo of his wife wearing a Mark Sanchez jersey while "Tebowing". It certainly seems like an odd choice for a large permanent tattoo on his forearm, especially considering the quarterback controversy that tore his team apart this season. If you are like me and trying to figure out what was going through the man's mind when he decided to get this tat, the most important question is when did he get inked? Was it before, during, or after this season? The intent changes if it happened before or after the controversy.

He was photographed recently sunbathing, which has sent the internet a buzz. What does it mean? Well until Rexy does a press conference to confirm and discuss the details of his body art, people are going to speculate. I'm assuming he wasn't topless sunbathing in New York in January, but choosing to get the tattoo on such a visible part of his body, he had to be fully aware that people would see it, especially walking around topless.

It is his wife, wearing a Sanchez jersey, doing a Tebow pose. Trying to figure out the triple entendre is mystifying. Is this a tribute to Mark Sanchez? Who gets a tattoo of his wife wearing another man's jersey? When I first heard the story today, my first reaction was that it was some kind of sexual fetish (forgive me Rex, but we already know more than we want to about your fetishes). What would Freud say about this? 

Let's just assume that it is non-sexual, that Rex is not asking his wife wear a Sanchez jersey during marital romancing, and let's disregard any possible homo-erotic theories. If he loved Sanchez that much, he could just get a tattoo of Mark Sanchez; instead it is his wife wearing a Sanchez jersey. Perhaps he feels that the Tebow trade to New York created an unwinnable situation, and that his wife was going to get him through the whole mess? His wife is the person in the portrait (allegedly presumably).

What if the tat was instead a picture of Mark Sanchez doing the "Tebow" pose? That would be Rex wanting to make a life-long statement that Sanchize is his guy, over the one thrust upon him by a now unemployed General Manager. It could be a statement that Rex never wanted Tebow in the first place, just as most of the football universe scratched their heads when the Jets acquired God's favourite son. The fact that the GM was fired and Rex still has a job, suggests that Tebow is all but gone. They can't do this again, and they aren't going to eat the last year of Sanchez's big contract.

What does the tattoo mean? Rex must do a press conference, or just lay low on vacation until Tebow is traded.


UPDATE: Rex says he got the tattoo 3 years ago, so clearly his wife is not "Tebowing", but it's still an awkwardly phallic tat to get.

1 comment:

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